I’m reading a book called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. I sought out the book because I heard it was based on Jung’s thoughts on the shadow world of people. I say this because it means I am predisposed to want this book to be great for me, to enlighten me about my own dark side. I am a depression lifer, but as pessimistic as I am, I hide within the folds of my brain little pockets of goofy optimism. I keep thinking, I’ll get the right medication, talk to the right shrink, or read the right book and be suddenly and forever OK.
There was a series of skits on the wonderful but now defunct Tracey Ullman Show where the character would go see a shrink, the shrink would say some fairly simple statement and the patient would be instantaneously cured. We laugh because it just can’t happen that fast. We laugh, I laughed, but that is still what I want.
So it is with high hopes that I began reading The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. I’m a light Chaser. I, like all humans, have a dark side. The premise us of this book is that we harm ourselves by pretending that the dark side doesn’t exist. Very early in life we learn that there are some things in our make up that parents, siblings, grandparents, teachers, and peers don’t like. We learn that we are unacceptable if we have within us some of these unacceptable traits. If you can’t get these unacceptable traits to disappear then they must be hidden away. At first we hide them from others, but, over time, with practice, we hide these “bad traits” from ourselves.
The trouble comes when we have bad traits, shadow traits, but don’t know those traits are there. I read once that Mother Teresa was asked when it was she started her work for abandoned children. Mother Teresa replied:
What this faith leader meant was that she had the same ingredients in her that were in Hitler, and so as saintly as she was, she had the capacity to do great evil.
In Ms. Ford’s book she uses the example of a Hologram. Every part of a hologram in half and each half will contain the whole holographic image. Cut the Hologram into three parts or four, or more and every piece will contain the entire holographic image. Ms. Ford’s point is that all of us, each and every human contains the traits of all other human beings. Given the right circumstances I, a passive wimp can be aggressive and brave. I have the capacity for both gentleness and cruelty.
Ms Ford goes on to say that these shadow parts of us, according to Ms. Ford, these aspects of ourselves that we label as bad, are the very aspects that contain great gifts that will benefit us greatly.
In one example the author said she was in a workshop and the leader pointed to her can said that she was a bitch. Ms. Ford’s reaction to that was, “How did she know? I thought I had that trait hidden, under wraps.” The leader went on to ask if there were times when she needed to return an item to the store when it was helpful if she was bitchy. Were there times when you are being “run over” by some bully that it would help you protect yourself if you could be as bitchy as needed?
This is the place where I get hung up. I have traits that I have labeled as bad, and I have trouble seeing the gift contained in that shadow trait.
Ms. Ford tells another story about a woman who was ashamed to say that she hated her own child. Later that lady was asked to see the gift her hatred contained. The woman and her daughter apparently had some sort of breakthrough and now they can be open and honest with one another. It was a good story, and it was well written, but I just don’t get it.
Part of what Ms. Ford is trying to say is that we do “shadow work” in order to be whole. If we pretend we have no shadow world then we are functioning with one hand tied behind our back. We are entering the battle field with a powerful gun, but unaware that we have hidden the ammo somewhere on our person.
I’m going to have to think about all this.
I agree with the author that I have hidden these parts of myself labeled bad, and I have closed off each allegedly negative trait in its own room, and, over time, the part of my castle available for my use has gotten smaller and smaller. What I have trouble accepting is that these shadow traits are not bad, they are actually good, that the hidden traits I wish I didn’t have contain gifts that will greatly enhance my life.
TO BE CONTINUED.
There was a series of skits on the wonderful but now defunct Tracey Ullman Show where the character would go see a shrink, the shrink would say some fairly simple statement and the patient would be instantaneously cured. We laugh because it just can’t happen that fast. We laugh, I laughed, but that is still what I want.
So it is with high hopes that I began reading The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. I’m a light Chaser. I, like all humans, have a dark side. The premise us of this book is that we harm ourselves by pretending that the dark side doesn’t exist. Very early in life we learn that there are some things in our make up that parents, siblings, grandparents, teachers, and peers don’t like. We learn that we are unacceptable if we have within us some of these unacceptable traits. If you can’t get these unacceptable traits to disappear then they must be hidden away. At first we hide them from others, but, over time, with practice, we hide these “bad traits” from ourselves.
The trouble comes when we have bad traits, shadow traits, but don’t know those traits are there. I read once that Mother Teresa was asked when it was she started her work for abandoned children. Mother Teresa replied:
On the day I discovered I
had a Hitler inside me.
What this faith leader meant was that she had the same ingredients in her that were in Hitler, and so as saintly as she was, she had the capacity to do great evil.
In Ms. Ford’s book she uses the example of a Hologram. Every part of a hologram in half and each half will contain the whole holographic image. Cut the Hologram into three parts or four, or more and every piece will contain the entire holographic image. Ms. Ford’s point is that all of us, each and every human contains the traits of all other human beings. Given the right circumstances I, a passive wimp can be aggressive and brave. I have the capacity for both gentleness and cruelty.
Ms Ford goes on to say that these shadow parts of us, according to Ms. Ford, these aspects of ourselves that we label as bad, are the very aspects that contain great gifts that will benefit us greatly.
In one example the author said she was in a workshop and the leader pointed to her can said that she was a bitch. Ms. Ford’s reaction to that was, “How did she know? I thought I had that trait hidden, under wraps.” The leader went on to ask if there were times when she needed to return an item to the store when it was helpful if she was bitchy. Were there times when you are being “run over” by some bully that it would help you protect yourself if you could be as bitchy as needed?
This is the place where I get hung up. I have traits that I have labeled as bad, and I have trouble seeing the gift contained in that shadow trait.
Ms. Ford tells another story about a woman who was ashamed to say that she hated her own child. Later that lady was asked to see the gift her hatred contained. The woman and her daughter apparently had some sort of breakthrough and now they can be open and honest with one another. It was a good story, and it was well written, but I just don’t get it.
Part of what Ms. Ford is trying to say is that we do “shadow work” in order to be whole. If we pretend we have no shadow world then we are functioning with one hand tied behind our back. We are entering the battle field with a powerful gun, but unaware that we have hidden the ammo somewhere on our person.
I’m going to have to think about all this.
I agree with the author that I have hidden these parts of myself labeled bad, and I have closed off each allegedly negative trait in its own room, and, over time, the part of my castle available for my use has gotten smaller and smaller. What I have trouble accepting is that these shadow traits are not bad, they are actually good, that the hidden traits I wish I didn’t have contain gifts that will greatly enhance my life.
TO BE CONTINUED.
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